Freezing

It is freezing cold today.  To be exact, it is like 8 degrees with a windchill of -18, and trust me, it feels that cold.

This semester has been interesting, emotions up and down, but I'm getting through it.  Finding out who I am, and being "myself" I guess, that's what college is for, right?  Trying to make new friends, I think I may have made one!  (That sounds sad.)  We'll see what happens.

Southland is so great, it keeps me looking forward to Tuesdays.  Also, tomorrow is Jersday, so excited.

No plans for the weekend, just the way I like it.  Hopefully I can get a chance to hang out with my new friend.  :)

Goodbye

This has been my last night in Washington for a while, it is pretty sad.  I did not know it was still going to be so difficult to say goodbye and leave again.  I get excited to go back to school and have fun and everything, but then I remember how things really are and I guess that is why it so hard to go back.  I just want to be done with school, move out on my own and start my life!  Why can't college be how it is on TV and movies?  Or maybe it is and the real problem is me.

The New Year

It is 2011; wow, time has gone by pretty fast.  I have been home for winter break for about three weeks now, and I have one more week before I have to go back to school.  I have mixed emotions about going back; I am excited for classes to start up again and have stuff to do, but at the same time I am going to miss my friends and family back here in Washington.  I feel like I have gotten closer to a few of my friends here over this break, which is cool and exciting, but it just makes it that much harder to leave once again.  I know I will be back in a few months for summer and have a whole bunch of time to hang out and what not, but I still get sad knowing I have to leave in a week; I'm going to miss people.  It will go fast though once I get back in the swing of things with classes and stuff, staying busy is the key, and I'll have some fun along the way.

I finished up last semester and am now ready for the next one.  I'm getting a new roommate, someone from Las Vegas, so that should be interesting.  I will be taking 15 credits, five classes, one of which is my junior-level writing requirement, so I should be pretty busy.  I will be looking for a job also, hopefully I can find one because I plan to move off campus for my junior year, so I will be looking in to and figuring things out for that also.  I will also still be an active member in the BSU and it's step team.  These things should keep me busy and prevent me from being too homesick.  I just keep telling myself with the technology today, it is still pretty easy to stay connect and communicate with friends.  I do not have a ton of friends, which is why I want to remain close to the ones I do have because finding good, trustworthy friends is not an easy task.  I am grateful for all the people I can hang out with and have a good time, but I am especially grateful for those few people I can talk to about anything, with no judgment, and of course still be able to have a good time.

Friends...and the Lack of

The semester is starting to pick up with more work and a ton of reading, of course, but it's good.  I like to stay busy, or else it gets pretty boring here.  I have not really made any new friends here, just the same ones from last year, minus the few that did not come back this year.  It is pretty sad, but oh well, I cannot really do anything, I try to make friends with people but it just never works and I do not know why!  I'm not a loner or anything, I have friends that I hang out with on the weekends and eat food with during the week and stuff, but they are the same as last year.  There is nothing wrong with this, but I was just trying to make some new friends, especially guy friends.  I have no guy friends at all basically, except my roommate Mark.  It is kind of frustrating since I am always hanging out with girls because it seems like they are the only ones I can make friends with; except at this point it seems like I cannot makes friends with anyone, but whatever.  I am still having a good time here, having fun going out on the weekends and stuff so it is all good.  My friends and I have already had a few crazy nights that I will never forget, it has been a lot of fun.
I am missing home a little bit this year, I did not really miss it that much last year, but I am a little bit now.  Not necessarily home, but family some of the people there and stuff.  One friend here invited me to go to Lake Havasu during Spring Break.  I know that is a long time away, but I guess I have to decide soon since the rooms fill up quick with people going there, I heard it is a crazy place to be during Spring Break, so I don't know if I want to go or not.  I may just want to go on my little adventure by myself and use my free ticket to go to Boston or DC or something and just explore the city all alone, that sounds fun to me.

I Do Not Understand

I don't understand some things right now.  Yesterday, I went out with some friends and we all had a good time for the most part.  It seems like the topic of friends seems to always be the cause of my deep thinking and saddened moods.  I went out with some friends again tonight; we walked all the way to some party and then I just had to walk back because I was not feeling it.  I like them, they are nice people and most of them talk to me and try to include me in things and stuff, but then it seems like when I'm there with them I am just invisible.  I know this is not true but that is what it seems like, there are some of them who are more friendly towards me than others and I appreciate it, but the whole thing just makes me sad.  Even if I wanted to take a break from them and hang out with some other friends or something I would not be able to.  I have a couple other friends that don't really hang out with them, but it is just frustrating.  I don't understand why I have such problems making friends.
For example, I met this guy last year at this out of state reception thing.  I see him all over the place, and he seems to know everybody, however he is just two-faced.  Sometimes I will see him and say hi and he'll respond, but then other times when I try to say hello to him he just ignores me and looks at me like I'm stupid.
I consider myself to be a nice and friendly person, especially towards people I do not know, however I still can't seem to just make friends with someone.  Also, like all of my friends are girls, I don't know why.  It's really irritating I can't ever make any guy friends, my roommate is the one guy friend that I've made since all the time I've been going to school here in Flagstaff, it's really pretty sad.

Sophomore Year

I'm all moved in to my new room and had my first day of classes today, it was pretty successful.  My new dorm is really nice, it's only like three years old so everything is still all new looking and stuff, I like it a lot.

Classes today were good, despite the fact that I had to buy over $100 worth of additional books; there goes my financial aid "refund".  Today I had English, Accounting, and Sociology.  Tomorrow I have English, Human Sexuality, and Economics, so it should be interesting.

Now I'm just in my room, on my bed, on facebook and twitter and thangs, bored.  I'm sick of looking at facebook, but I have nothing better to do.  I mean I could read for class, but whats the fun in that, I'll just save it for the night before, thats always more fun.

Post Birthday and A Reflection on Friends

My birthday was on Monday, I turned 19.  I didn't do much, just hung out with my family and stuff, went to Red Lobster and tore up those delicious biscuits.  Maybe I'll do something with some friends at a later date to celebrate, but then I think, "what friends?"  Don't get me wrong, I have a couple good friends, key word being 'couple', but I'm just saying.  Ethan has been my best friend for my entire life and we have times when we hang out lots, and times when we barely talk, but he is still easily one of my best friends.  Jeanee is also a really good friend of mine, we have many memories from middle school all throughout high school and beyond.  I'm glad we have remained friends for this long and know we will continue to be friends for a long time.  Kayla is my "bestestestest friend ever" lol, but really.  We have had our ups and downs, but always come back to our good relationship, even stronger.  Even if we don't talk for a long time, we can just pick up right where we left off and it's like we just talked yesterday.  Especially with twitter and facebook and everything these days, haha.  Kelsey has remained a good friend since graduating high school also.  Sometimes we don't talk, but we have random conversations every now and then, and since she moved to Michigan now it's evident she is a good friend since we still keep in touch.  Stephanie is a really good friend I've made at school.  I know sometimes she got on my nerves and stuff, but when it all boils down, she is a good friend and a good person.  She sent me a birthday card with a drawing of Nicki Minaj that she drew.  We always talk about her and she is a good artist and stuff and I didn't actually think she would draw it but she did!  It is amazing, I love it.

I don't usually like doing things like these because then I feel bad people would be like, "I see how it is, you didn't write anything about me," or something like that, but I don't care.  This is my blog, and I don't even know if anyone reads it anyways.  I just felt like updating it so I feel like I am using it, and don't just have a blog sitting around that hasn't been updated for weeks.

Anyways, as I was saying, those few people are really the only people I've been talking to slash hanging out with this summer.  Everyone else has either made much more friends in college or whatever and so we just don't talk much anymore, if at all.  Or, busy with summer classes, busy with a significant other, or just too busy to text/call me back when I try to initiate a hang out.  I mean one of my good friends didn't even acknowledge my birthday on Monday.  I'm not letting it bother me too much, but I mean, if someone is more than just an acquaintance, you would think their birthday would be something you would know about; send a text, call, facebook or whatever at the least!  Oh well, a lot of people wished me happy birthday through text messages and facebook posts.  I was not expecting so many people to do that!  I mean, I know it tells you when someone's birthday is, but still, and even the more reason it's kind of hard to miss people's birthdays these days.  I was pleasantly surprised, and I had a good day.

Back to what I was talking about in the beginning.  I don't know what I would do to celebrate if I did do anything.  Not many people would be able to do anything though since they all have their own lives and priorities and such.  So I don't know what I would do and with who is basically what I'm trying to say.  I have been hanging out with KP in Seattle and stuff which has been fun.  We're going to the Bite this weekend with some people I believe, so that should be fun.  I guess we'll see what the rest of the summer has in store, hopefully some fun stuff before it's back to school time in August.